MRSA

by Kyla

There has been a little silence in blog land lately as I’ve been laid low by MRSA, otherwise known as flesh-eating disease, although in my case the flesh remained mercifully un-et.

During The Great MRSA Event of 2011 I had plenty of time to think about all the stuff I wasn’t doing, like, for example, school work. I also failed to do any work work, writing work, or house work, but I did manage to squeeze in a little Call of Duty playing with my brother, and if that’s not sick time well spent I just don’t know what is. Yet even between doctor visiting, Call of Duty playing, Tintin reading, and couch sleeping, I still managed to compile for you, my concerned readers, a list of What Not to Do While Sick with MRSA. In the interests of blogging accuracy, I actually did do all of these things myself. What I won’t do for you people.

1) Do not accept an invitation to a Grey Cup party if all you are going to do is lie on the couch and talk about how sick you have been.

2) If at a Grey Cup party, do not stand up, invite people to look at your MRSA, and take off your shirt in the middle of the kitchen so all assembled guests can examine your armpit. I’m just sayin’. In the scheme of things, this is probably Not A Good Idea.

3) Do not take pictures of your infection and post them on facebook. Your facebook friends do not want to see this, and frankly, my facebook friends wish someone had told me this two weeks ago, if not a year ago when I was even sicker than I am now with much the same thing yet still had the wherewithall to maintain a live photo journal, bless my little cotton socks.

4) Do not, under any circumstances, google MRSA.

5) If you do google MRSA despite knowing this is Not A Good Idea, and you learn that MRSA can be passed onto pets, do not clutch your cat to your chest in order to get all primate on it, pawing through every inch of fur to look for worrying skin lesions. If the cat happens to be a long-hair, do not try to cut the cat’s fur in order to have a better view of its skin. Trust me. The cat will not thank you if you do this. The cat might actually consider removing your face and in case this has never occurred to you, I can assure you that if cats decide to turn, they could take over the world. Let’s not do anything that might encourage them to take up arms claw.

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